14.9 hours played
Written 12 days ago
Another 'game' Steam recommended because I played things that were similar and keeps asking me to review. Sure, I'll bite.
I've done this song and dance before. Kaiju Princess, it's hardly a game. What is it exactly? I'd just call it a nukige (basically a game designed to get your rocks off), but it HAS a story albeit an extremely basic one. However, the interactive H minigame is repetitive and singular. There's also static CG scenes as you move along in the story and blah blah blah. I found all the H scenes vanilla and boring (sue me), but to each their own. Xao (main girl), is at least really cute to compensate.
Anyway, the story. The MC self-insert is tasked with taking in a chick named Xao and balancing taking care of her 'needs' & saving the world from destruction by...causing more destruction. Her executive overlords require a quota of destruction to be met because it shows that Xao's lazy ass is doing her job. Therefore, you and her work together to achieve said quota without actually killing people/minimize suffering because the MC doesn't roll that way. It sounds cooler on paper than how it is executed in game, trust me. In game, you basically click on a map and send Xao out to scare a bunch of people in different locales. There's a stamina bar and all that when you attack and Xao needs to rest once you're finished for the day, etc etc. It's all 2D moe art style and kind of a puzzle in that you must choose the optimal locations to hit in order to maximize your scare tactic effectiveness. There's also pick ups in the form of potentially money (that you use to purchase gifts for Xao etc.) or costume drops that unlock different uniforms for Xao to wear from raiding these locales.
Yeah, so people who want to get straight to the plowing minigame and just let the game play itself are gonna have an issue because you do need to actually read and understand the game mechanics to go anywhere. MC also has like no stamina in bed at the beginning so he can't even last that long with Xao, lol. What a loser. You gotta train him up by catering to Xao/filling those quotas so that you have time to be with her. If you don't fill the quotas, you get a game over by the set deadline. A.K.A you need to actually PLAY the game, surprise surprise. At least it's not another crappy card battler game, thank god.
Along the way, you'll get closer to Xao and she'll begin to open up and be more accepting of your presence. It's nice and a wholesome experience if you're into that. I remember feeling satisfied by the end and a bit sad that it was over despite being critical of certain aspects. And no, there's no R scenes, no viscera/guro or depressing stuff in this game. It's one of the most sterile erotic media that I've played within the past two years. I'd actually call it 'family friendly' if it weren't for the H scenes, lol. Not even joking.
Overall, Kaiju Princess? Disappointing despite it apparently being universally praised for some odd reason with little serious criticism. I enjoyed the VN aspect & found the other stuff to be lame. Kinda cheap in its production values and exactly the type of generic H game you'd expect to find on Steam, but it has its moments. No offense intended, but that's my honest feelings.
Do I recommend Kaiju Princess at full price? Pft, no and let me tell you this. Go play an ACTUAL eroge/nukige/moege/lolige whatever, come back to this, laugh, and wonder how much potential it missed. Steam algorithm really needs to stop pushing these games by the dozen as suggestions or at least properly tag them because they all have the same damn tags. Like seriously. If I play something like say, Dead End Aegis for example, why in the hell are you recommending this?
Do I recommend it in general? Eh, sorta not really. LISB, it's a cute story, especially if you like kuuderes. I did enjoy hanging out within the game world with Xao and liked the story beats as I've said before (what little there were), but it's really lacking in substance aside from the basics. At $11 USD (or foreign equivalent)? NO. Even on sale, nah. If this was a fully-fleged visual novel with a bit more quality control, actual realized stakes, maybe some supporting characters and romantic elements instead of being yet another outlet for people to burp the worm, I'd think it would actually be something special and worth the asking price. Of course, it sold well in its current state and no one really cares about specifics, but I feel like it could have been so much more than some throwaway game that most would probably forget in an afternoon. Opinion, obviously.
Buy on sale if you really want it because it's a short experience and there's not much to come back to once you're done. It becomes a digital paperweight in your library like all your other H games. Otherwise, move along and continue your never-ending search for quality H games. I seriously can't recommend this game or its sequels with a straight face (I hated the sequel and never finished it because of the writing and terrible MC/whatsherface and I haven't played Kaiju Princess 2 yet). There's so much better eroge out there, man. Trust me.
