271.8 hours played
Written 1 day and 3 hours ago
I know many people glaze this game way more than they should. On a few occasions, I can be guilty of that too; but that's only because the game at its core is good, and I shouldn't have to leave this review. I really do want to love this game, and I will continue to play off and on, but Jesus Christ, stop releasing updates quarter-baked—no, no—fucking raw, FUCKING RAW! I'm constantly seeing leaks for something new around the corner or hearing about some new system the devs are working to add, but I can’t even open the weapon customization without the game crashing and bricking my PC.
The Battle for Super Earth is a perfect example of them completely failing the player base, their jobs, and as a company. The whole battle felt incomplete—with only 1 new interesting unit, two buggy, overtuned, and unfun units, and A UNIT WE LITERALLY ALREADY HAD 2 OF BUT WITH A DIFFERENT GUN.
Stingray is honestly the only fun and engaging unit in the new roster, so good job here—you might have actually done your job.
Fleshmob is great visually, but it’s nothing but an annoying damage sponge. It turned out to be a sort of interesting foil to the Voteless, acting as a larger threat to the swarm, but unfortunately it is plagued by bugs such as random teleporting, clipping and hitting through floors, and just generally being an unfun unit to deal with after seeing it for the 200th time.
Leviathans are just stupid, and they could have been so much better. Maybe more of an upgraded, less mobile Stingray—it turns a corner and lays waste to an entire street. But no, they gave it a 40x scope, omniscient targeting, and a death beam it can fit through a toilet paper tube. Thanks for nerfing its damage AFTER THE WAR.
During the war, we were faced with so many bugs and BS moments—with the Fleshmobs phasing and killing you through floors and Leviathans hitting you through pixel gaps in the buildings with no time to react. But only one bug truly ruined the game for me and my friends and caused us to quit until it was fixed.
I'm talking about the Stratagem Cancelling Bug. Instead of making light of it in their very Helldiver 2 way—by saying it was “Illuminate brain disruption” or “Illuminate jamming devices intercepting our signals”—they just straight up gave up and said, “yeah we don’t know what’s happening, we gonna try to fix it ig but we are all on holiday so you're gonna have to wait, have fun lol.”
Yeah, what the actual fuck. This pissed me the fuck off because of how important stratagems are to the base gameplay of Helldivers and how vital they were at crucial junctions during some battles.
Imagine lining up a row of Illuminate and you only have one stim left. You just jammed it in your side and you only have one shot. You call in a resupply—wait, no, you call in—you call in a resupply—what the fuck, why won’t it work?
Oh wait, you're dead because of a game-breaking bug. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway because the 500kg you wanted to call in after wouldn’t have worked either. I get the “fix” to it (sort of) was to type it slower, but half the time it wouldn’t be a “fix”—just a half-baked workaround that was just annoying to do since most people know most of their daily-use stratagems by heart.
Halfway through the Battle for Super Earth, we got the Masters of Ceremony Warbond. Cool visually, but completely hollow due to the completely useless stratagems and weapons we got from it.
Arrowhead has a chronic problem where they think they need to keep adding new things and bloating the game, but in reality, they need to polish what is already here. The weapons were useless, the stratagem was useless, and the most useful thing that came out of that armor was the reworking of it afterward along with several other useless armor passives.
But hold on, because here is the kicker: I have held the theory that we were NOT supposed to get the Masters of Ceremony Warbond during the war, but instead the current Warbond—Force of Law.
Think of the themes for both of these. One would be for celebration and revelry after the victory over the Illuminate, while the other has the trailer for it LITERALLY SET ON SUPER EARTH DURING THE ILLUMINATE INVASION... AFTER WE HAD ALREADY WON???
I don't think I need to get into how much more Force of Law would have made sense AND been an immense help against the Illuminate instead of a fucking flag and a sword.
^ This point isn’t to say the Masters of Ceremony Warbond is bad—I think the sword is cool, even though I never bought it—I just think the idea of them releasing a $10 item pack that, in comparison to the others, is just a big nothing burger during a time when we would have loved and really needed some new gear...
Considering we weren’t just fighting tough new units in a new terrain, but on top of all of that, we were fighting game-breaking bugs at the same time. I don't think I need to bring up the stratagem canceling bug again.
The war, after the war, and the leaks I saw following it lead me to the conclusion that Arrowhead has been rushing these updates out regardless of the game-breaking bugs, frequent crashes and disconnects, soft-locking missions due to no fault of the players, weapon mods being practically useless for 90% of guns, and—besides that—a buggy mess due to crashes, and more that I don’t even want to bother listing here.
I shouldn’t even have to list all of these in the first place—most of these bugs still exist in the game to this day and are the reason I haven’t played in a while. I will literally hop on, try to play, and crash due to some random bullshit I couldn’t have anticipated.
The web of code this game must be crafted upon has got to be made of wet sand or something, because somehow they stuck it all together and expected it NOT to fall apart.
My very long TL;DR is just this: HIRE MORE EMPLOYEES AND STOP JUMPING INTO NEW PROJECTS BEFORE YOU FINISH THE LAST DUMPSTER FIRE. I do not care if you didn't expect the game to be this big—it is, and it has been for a year now. You don't have any other games to really be that concerned about, from what I can tell, so there is no excuse for being this inexcusably absent. Seriously, why are you guys always on holiday when you don't do shit to fix the game while in the office?
And if you want a piece of advice for trying not to bloat your game? Stop adding new weapon variants with each Warbond. You created an entire weapon modification system, and instead of just making ammo types—like incendiary rounds, stun shots, or explosive rounds—you keep adding a new, useless variant of a gun that already exists. The game does not need four variants of the Liberator. Instead, give us the Liberator and let us mod it into, say, medium armor pen but with less fire rate/ammo capacity—or less damage and ammo capacity but incendiary rounds.
Make the weapons you add and that we collect feel more unique and viable, like the exploding crossbow, Liberator, Scythe, Double-Edged Sickle, Eruptor. That way, the weapon modification system can actually have a point to it instead of being just another pointless grind. God knows I’ve had enough of that from WoW.