290.3 hours played
Written 15 days ago
Borderlands 3 crashes back into your life like a rabid skag with a rocket launcher, and honestly? It’s just as ridiculous as you’d hope. Gearbox basically took everything that made the previous games tick, guns, jokes, chaos, and cranked the dial so hard it broke off. Subtlety? Never heard of her.
You barely hit “Start” before you’re drowning in loot, bullets, and that signature Borderlands snark. The guns? Oh man, they’re absolutely bonkers. Think: shotguns that scream bloody murder as you reload, or pistols that just… turn into walking turrets because why the hell not. No joke, half the fun is gawking at whatever Frankenstein monstrosity the loot gods drop in your lap next. It’s like Christmas morning if your presents could explode.
The new Vault Hunters, Amara, FL4K, Moze, Zane, each bring their own brand of nonsense to the party. Wanna punch stuff with glowing fists? Amara’s your gal. Prefer ordering around a pet monster? FL4K’s got you. Skill trees offer more tinkering than a mad scientist’s lab, so you can actually build a character that feels yours instead of a cookie-cutter clone. And when you’re running co-op? That’s when the madness really kicks in, nothing like four maniacs spamming abilities and cackling over voice chat.
Story-wise, you’re up against the Calypso Twins, who are basically Twitch streamers if they also led a murder cult. The plot bounces between hilarious, weird, and sometimes just a little too familiar, but hey, that’s Borderlands. Not every joke lands, some are pure dad-joke territory, but the cast brings it hard. Tiny Tina’s still a riot, Claptrap’s still a lovable idiot, and the returning crew keeps things lively even when the main quest gets a bit wobbly.
Visually? Still rocking those cel-shaded vibes, but with a fresh coat of paint. Explosions pop, worlds look wild, one minute you’re knee-deep in alien swamp muck, next you’re chilling in a city that feels ripped out of a neon fever dream. Not every area’s a home run, but the variety’s solid. And the sound? Guns thump, enemies shriek, and the music slaps, flipping from thumping synth to deranged circus music on a dime.
Performance mostly keeps up with the insanity, though, yeah, you’ll see the occasional stutter or texture mishap, especially if you’re rocking a potato for a console. Nothing game-breaking, just a little “oh, c’mon” moment here and there.
Endgame’s where Borderlands 3 really flexes. Mayhem Mode, True Vault Hunter, legendaries raining from the sky, it’s a loot fiend’s playground. The grind actually feels rewarding, which is rare these days. Whether you’re squad-deep or rolling solo, there’s always some new toy or build to chase.
And co-op? Still a blast. Nothing beats the chaos of four Vault Hunters flooding the screen with bullets, grenades, and bad jokes. It’s pure, beautiful mayhem.
Look, Borderlands 3 isn’t out here reinventing the wheel. But it doesn’t need to. It’s loud, stupid, and endlessly fun, a messy, neon-splattered love letter to fans who just want to shoot stuff and laugh at fart jokes. Does it get a little much sometimes? For sure. But that’s kind of the point.
In summary, Borderlands 3 is a glorious, unhinged rollercoaster. Buckle up and enjoy the ride, because it’s wild as hell.