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Written 9 years ago
Go! Go! Nippon! ~ My First Trip To Japan! ~ 2015 edition: the thinking waifuist’s game
How do you improve that which you thought was perfect already? For centuries, philosophers, neuroscientists and nostalgia-blinded elitists from all over the world have been pondering this unsolvable enigma. Who would have guessed that its answers would be found one day in a cute and shy tomboy with a magnificently flat chest?
Go! Go! Nippon! ~ My First Trip To Japan! ~ 2015 edition is DLC for the brilliant Go! Go! Nippon! ~ My First Trip To Japan! , although I’m hesitant to use the term due to its negative connotation. I would even go as far say that even its objective denotation falls short at describing this powerful work of art: it’s downloadable, obviously, but to just call it content? That seems unfair, given how utterly amazing this game is. Not only does this DLC have animated sprites, which make Aki-chan look more kawaii than ever, it also features a whole range of new scenarios to explore with her.
Some of my favourite newly-added chapters include the one where you to go to the pool together with Aki-chan (showing us the developer’s impressive skill at crafting poetic and human tranche de vie stories), the really touching one where you comfort Akira when she’s scared during a horror film (showing us the true inner strength of a powerful female character who admits that even she sometimes just needs someone to hold her and tell her everything is going to be all right) and, last but not least, the one where you stealthily infiltrate a military base occupied by genetically-modified super soldiers who possess supernatural powers in order to save the world from complete nuclear annihilation. All this to what I consider to be musical perfection, as the soundtrack also received an orgasm-inducing update, with songs from critically acclaimed bands such as Mogwai, Low Roar and Sleepmakeswaves, as well as universally beloved composers such as Hans Zimmer and Ennio Morricone being featured.
The 2015 DLC vastly improves on the game’s philosophical aspect as well, showing us a philosophy which seems to be heavily inspired by the French-Algerian pied-noir philosopher Albert Camus’ theory of the absurd. An example of this influence can be seen in a scene where you and Akira go to a swimming pool and Aki-chan is wearing a really cute blue bikini and looking almost impossibly kawaii, only to have the strings snap, embarrassing her a little as she has to hide her beautiful goddess body away from the eyes of the commoners and other degenerate plebs who cannot help but stare at the utter perfection she embodies. This unexpected turn of events makes us promptly realize two things:
1. Life is absurd and our efforts at trying to find meaning in it have brought us nothing but disappointment and hurt, and as a result, in order to be happy, we need to accept this absurdness and lack of ‘raison de vivre’ for life is all we have.
And 2. My God do I want to shoot my hot steamy load all over your utterly adorable divine flat chest, Aki-chan.
Conclusion
Go! Go! Nippon! ~ My First Trip To Japan! ~ 2015 edition is the proof that life is worth living despite its numerous hardships and at time impossibly difficult challenges: because you will find that it is in those unbearable moments when you feel at your lowest, at the bottom of the dark well which depression is, that Aki-chan, being the little angle she is, will always be there for you, to support and love you regardless of what may happen or how low you have fallen. And it’s with her warm hand in yours that the two of you will climb out of the darkness, into the light of life, ready to face whatever hardships this sometimes unfair but at the same time strangely beautiful world may throw at you.
I think it’s safe to say that Go! Go! Nippon! ~ My First Trip To Japan! ~ 2015 edition simply is the greatest game, waifu-simulator and interactive philosophical essay in the history of mankind.
The only real issue I have with this otherwise perfect and then I do mean utterly flawless masterpiece is that that cowtitted, degenerate whore of a Makoto is using up room, dialogue and precious in-game data storage that could have been spent on adorable Aki-chan instead. Despite that, Go! Go! Nippon! ~ My First Trip To Japan! ~ 2015 edition is nothing short of a masterpiece that will be remembered by generations to come as the decisive video game that perfected the medium and made it transcend to a level of brilliance which we previously didn’t even know was possible for us mortals. In the future, our ancestors, having established a perfect Aki-chanstocracy and world-peace, will look at this game and thank its creators for their beautiful gift to humanity and the universe itself. I, for one, welcome our DFC overlords.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to slaughter some more degenerates to keep the blood supply for my shrine for Aki-chan running.
